What Is Home?
What if your home wasn’t just a place where you lived, but a living reflection of your deepest desires? That’s what I’m sharing with you today. Hello, this is Bunmi Lambo. The essay I’m presenting to you is titled, ‘I Believe in Definition,’ born from my reflections on finding peace within the four corners of where I call home.
I Believe in Definition
I believe that deep within each of us, especially mothers, lies a profound, almost primal blueprint for home. For me, that primal blueprint has come from reading that God put the first human in a garden as their home. So, I’ve always wanted a home that is as beautiful and peaceful as a well-kept garden.
In this ideal garden, I envisioned an environment that doesn’t just shelter us, but actively supports us in fulfilling our dreams and God’s unique purpose for our lives. An environment where everyone feels they are not sacrificing their individuality for the sake of the collective, an environment of trust, order, and if possible, sparkling clean 24/7.
For some years, this garden was not my reality. Rather, I experienced overwhelm from raising children, homeschooling, being a wife, teaching within the community, and the list goes on. It was a whirlwind of activities, unexpected challenges, and the constant pressure of outside voices dictating what “should be.” Then, through reflection, a question emerged. That question pierced through the fog like a clear morning light and it changed everything: What is Home?
It was from reflecting on this simple question that I began the journey of defining our home and discovered the profound power of having something defined so that it doesn’t become anything. Just as a river needs defined banks to flow powerfully, our home needed a clear purpose, boundaries, and an intentional identity to truly flourish.
What Do You Want Your Home to Become?
Defining our home wasn’t about making a list of rules or striving for an Instagram-perfect aesthetic. It was about asking honestly, “What is our home to us? What do we want it to be?” This act of defining became my compass. It empowered me to say a confident “yes” to what truly matters and a firm “no” to anything that didn’t align with our definition. It empowered me to stop our home from falling prey to external influences.
I wrote down our core values, not just as abstract principles, but as practical ideas for our space. If our home is to be a place of peace, it means stopping the constant noise of sensationalized negative news that cause anxiety, decluttering regularly, not yelling over every little thing, having time for play, and being clear on expectations for chores and responsibilities. If it is to be a place of honor, it means teaching and respecting boundaries, speaking highly of each other especially in the presence of others, putting a sign in the foyer asking guests to take off their shoes, and showing appreciation for each other’s contribution no matter how small. If it is to be a place of belonging, it means reducing distractions that pulled us apart, like having TVs in bedrooms, having monthly family prayer time, validating without judgement, and regular check-ins. Finally, it is to be a place where faith is lived out, it means weaving spiritual practices and conversations into the fabric of our daily rhythms, praying for one another, listening to uplifting music, and having open and honest spiritual conversations.
Shifts Are Often Not Instant
The shift wasn’t instant; its profound impact unfolded over time. By defining our home, we weren’t just organizing rooms; we were organizing our lives. We were creating a shared purpose that unified our family. The overwhelm began to recede, replaced by a deep sense of peace. The disconnection gave way to intentional connection. It became a space reserved for those whose intentions aligned with our family’s well-being. By defining our home, we became the architect of our own environment.
This is why I fiercely believe in definition. It is the courageous act of choosing intentionality over inertia, of turning a heartfelt ideal into a living reality. In conclusion, if you, like me, envision an ideal home, I encourage you to embrace the transformative process of defining it. To make the process easy for you, we’ve created a downloadable companion to this essay. It’s filled with guiding questions and space for your reflections. The link is below.
Take care of yourselves, your family, and your home. Catch you in part two. You won’t want to miss it 🙂
To hope and a future,
Bunmi Lambo